Everyone kept telling me to join a dating site.  The very thought repulsed me so I avoided it.  I thought I would meet someone if it was meant to be and that would be that.  As time/years went by it wasn’t happening.  I continued to hear the echos from my friends.  “Just join a site.”  Ugh!

Also, being weirdly private (strange I know seeing as I am a performer) I loathed the idea of entering personal infomation into a site.  I could go on and on why I was resisting this. Finally one day my daughter said I should and she knew of a site everyone talks about. She took my phone and at a blistering pace she nimbly tapped the screen.  In less than three minutes I had a profile with pictures and witty phrases captioned below. A month membership. That’s it!  Not one minute more I said.

Within 6 hours I had 150 connections.  Wow!  This was amazing! For a hysterical second of insanity I was feeling pretty good about myself. I sat a little straighter, held my head a little higher. They were right.  I can admit it. I am at least that evolved.  

Tentativly, I scrolled through. At first glance it appeared no one owned a shirt and were remarkably bad at selfies.  Almost all of the pictures were from the chin down. I clicked on a few “connections”.

The first caption I read said, and this is an exact quote…”Mike. I’m married for 20+ years but looking for some adventure. I’m totally straight (interested in women only) but I love to cross dress and would totally adore having a girlfriend who is turned on by that.  I know it narrows the field…”

Um yea, kinda.

Next guy, no shirt but boldly showed his face in the bathroom selfie.  His intro simply read. “Well hung. Straight shooter.”

I was out!!! All the way out!  Deleted my profile on the spot.  

Digusted, grossed out and horrified I shared my experience with my friends who found the entire thing side splittingly funny. “OMG that’s the wrong site!” they wheezed..

“Ya think?!”

I have since, dispite myself and still dreading it, joined another site.  So far I have met some decent, mercifully normal chaps with all their teeth. 

We’ll see what happens.