My daughter is going into high school! How the heck did that happen?? Honestly it feels like she was born about two weeks ago. Time is a bizarre thing when you have a child. It warps and bends nonsensically. She is as spectacular as I could have ever imagined. But can we just hit the brakes a minute? It’s too fast. She is ready. I am not.
We used to go to Doc Bernstein’s Ice Cream after every gig to share what we called “singing money”. Singing money was special money. Ice cream paid for with singing money was even better than regular ice cream. She would do a little celebratory dance around the shop with her oversized scoop of birthday cake flavor in a giant waffle cone. Her hair so often-in the style of total catastrophe framed a full jack-o’-lantern smile. Of course the look wasn’t completed without freshly dirtied knees. It never seemed to occur to her to be the slightest bit self conscious when she licked off the melted ice cream that dripped to her wrist. Who needed napkins? “When is your next gig Mom?” she would ask through an impish and sticky grin. It was impossible not to love every second of it.
Now thankfully singing money gets us much more than ice cream. That’s in the good change category. In the not so good category, Doc Bernstein’s is no longer. It recently went out of business and is still being mourned by the community. My daughter now prefers to be “tipped out” after every show. Her appearance is immaculate on the worst of days. Starbucks and Lululemon are more interesting than ice cream. FaceTiming and giggling are numero uno on this summers schedule. Not gonna lie, the antics she and her friends get up to crack me up. Calls from the next room like “Hey Momma Ford, can we get pizza?” affect my heart like helium does a balloon. I love that her friends call me that. They all know and have been told that as they get older and gain more freedom that I am a phone call away anytime day or night, no questions asked. I figure, I will question the poor decisions later when they are safe and hangover is fully peeking as applicable. (I might as well enjoy it). I remember craving an adult to feel that comfortable with as a teenager. Safe, accepted and seen. Is there ever anything more important? Since being a teen feels like it was maybe a month or two ago, the feeling is easily accessed.
I am painfully aware that these days are just as precious and fleeting as any previously. I treasure them as each bitter sweet moment passes. Focusing on the positive, there is so much to look forward to. Driver's license (God help me), graduation, college, first apartment. All good change.
The purpose of every parent is to raise the best possible person to send into society. At first 18 years seems an unbelievably long time to carry the immense responsibility. Now as it creeps closer it seems ridiculously, if not irresponsibly, short. I know time will not make any exceptions for me but sometimes I wish it would.